She's Half Way Gone.

When we think about raising children, our time with them in the house usually ends at 18 when they become an adult and go off into the big world. We envision sending them off to college where they will make many mistakes and celebrate many successes.

We look at this future and pray we do everything we can for them to become productive members of society. There is one thing I did not take into consideration when I first became a mother.

How fast 18 would come.

Next week my oldest turns 9. No biggie, right? Oh, but it is. It dawned on me earlier this year that my "time with her" in the house is half way done. She is half way into this vision I've had of her waving to me as she drives with a car full headed to her new future. A future where she will always need me in one way or another, but she won't always call on me. A future I hope my words of wisdom will prove to be valuable to her.

Here is the thing. I look at her and know I've done something seriously right. I am no saint and am definitely not a perfect parent. But somewhere along the way, I know I hit the nail on the head.

She is intelligent, well spoken, passionate, silly, and so much more.

I was dreading her turning nine until something happened last week. I slept in. *GASP* I know. Sinful.

But I was simply exhausted and apparently so were my alarm clocks (the two Littles, Bean and Bubba). So I just didn't wake up.

It wasn't until I felt a nudge and heard a soft voice that I woke up. "Hey, mom, I'm headed to school. Just wanted to let you know and give you kisses".

Guys. She got up (she has an actual alarm clock), fed herself, got dressed, wrote me a small note, and then rode her bike to school all on time. *side note for those who may be curious, she rides her bike daily to school so don't worry about that*

Her independence never ceases to amaze me. Her level of maturity is beyond her age. She's just incredible.

When this happened I was stunned. She could've simply stayed home and used my sleeping in to get a free day off. She didn't though and I'm so proud of her for it.

If this and many other examples of her character are any sign of the future, I am doing just fine in the parenting department.

So, even though I'm "half way done" I will revel in each day I have with her. I will celebrate her birthdays with a smile knowing that with each year passing is one step closer until the big 'ol world will get to benefit from her entering it.

Happy Birthday, Mona Lisa.

I am Not a Single Mother: Military Spouse Vent

A week or so ago I came across an article on a pretty popular military spouse site and in this article the author compared a woman with a deployed spouse to a single mother.

Before I dive head first into my vent, let me be very clear. I am NOT a single mother. Not because it's a "bad thing" but because I am, in all cases, not one.

By comparing me to a single mother you are missing the mark and diminishing the absolute strength single mothers have. This isn't to say military spouses aren't strong but we aren't "single" in any capacity just because our spouses are deployed.

We have a husband/wife who is there for us emotionally and financially, along with many other things. Maybe they are gone so we don't have the physical back-up but that doesn't equate us to a single mother.

If you are a woman with a deployed spouse and consider yourself to be "like a single parent", I encourage you to really look into what it means to be a single parent.

I want to point out that I get the loose concept of being compared to a single mom- I do. But if someone tells me "Sarah, I don't know how you do it, it's like you are a single mom", I will be happy to clarify that I'm not. Maybe it is meant as a compliment, or maybe even a "bless her heart" moment, but I just don't agree with it.

Single mothers, you are amazing. Your determination and independence speaks volumes about your character.

I am grateful every day for my husband and will never take his support, near or far, for granted.

Military spouses are many things. A single mother is not one of them.

Dear single fathers,
I know my blog speaks directly to single mothers but I see you, too. I see the incredible impact you make on you child(ren)'s. This speaks directly to mothers since it is in response to something I specifically read.

Dear Daughters, You Are Fearless

Dear Daughters,

In the coming year you will feel many emotions but I pray one of those is a feeling of empowerment. I want you to know that being sad and scared is normal. It is expected. But also know that with fear comes bravery. With sadness comes the chance to overcome.

At your age you have experienced things even some adults haven't had to endure. You have been brave your whole life.

I teach you to carry on one step at a time. Always one step at a time. When there is a moment where you feel like you can't see the end, you keep walking. Sometimes we stumble, we feel defeated and we want to wave the white flag. Take the day to embrace those moments, don't feel the need to bury them down. Live in that moment and then take one more step, no matter how little it seems. Take those moments and thrive.

For those days you feel like you can't do it anymore, I will pick you up and carry you. It is because of you that I am strong. You keep my head high and my feet moving.

There will be tears, there will be smiles. I will do everything in my power to ensure there are always more smiles. Without the bad we couldn't appreciate all the good we have. And, boy, do we have good.

You are fearless. You are brave. You are strong. I am beyond proud of you.

"¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

10 Friends Every Mom Needs

It's freakin' November! Guys. This year has really flown by. So in honor of the month of Thanksgiving I am going to dedicate each day to something I am grateful for. Some days will be fun, some day will be serious but all days will be awesome!

Today I will be sharing my first day of gratitude.

I am grateful for my friends. So in honor of all the fabulous women in my life I will give you 10 friends every mom needs. Some of my friends fill multiple positions because they are just. that. good.

1. The Childhood Friend.

This friend is the one who has known you the longest. Who knows you better than you know yourself. They have memories galore and there to remind you of how far you've come when you're doubting where to go.

2. The "F**k that!" Friend.

She is the fierce one who doesn't take crap from anyone and won't let you take crap from anyone, either! When you're upset she will tell you "f**k that, girl!" She doesn't make you feel silly for being upset about anything. Your feelings are valid and she knows it! You always leave conversations with her feeling empowered. F**k yea.

3. The Independent Woman Friend.

She's a career woman. She has kids but knows that she deserves her own identity, too. She is encouraging and pushes you to meet your goals. She is a powerhouse. She runs her family. She runs her career. She runs it. This friend makes you feel like you can take on the world!

4. The Playdate Friend. 

This friend has kids around the same age as yours and doesn't like pants, either. She rocks the mom bun and loves having playdates with you. You get to watch your kids without the fear of judgement. As long as your kids are happy and healthy, she won't look at you crazy if they're still in their Pajamas at 2pm and only had six handfuls of gummies for lunch.

5. The Adventurous Friend.

Oh, girl! She is playful, funny and a ball of energy. Wanna make a small road trip? Let's do it! Want to just go store to store and window shop? Get in my car, we're going! She is spontaneous and fills your life with happiness. She values your company and that is priceless.

6. The Drinking Friend.

No, I'm not talking about the dancing on a bar friend. But the friend who might be eyeballing that purse to help hide wine in it. The friend who knows that a ladies night out with a few drinks is helpful after a long week of adulting. This friend will show up at your house with a bottle of wine to share. She's talkative and ready to laugh.

7. The Nightowl Friend.

She stays up late and is always there for you. You can't sleep and need to vent? She's got your back. Your kids is vomiting all night and you just need to stay awake before the next puke fest? Shes awake, too, binge watching Netflix and happy to keep you company. She's one sleepy, nighttime goddess.

8. The Emotional Friend.

Whenever you're all up in your feels and just need someone to be up in them, too, she's there. She is loving and empathetic. She cares about you. This friend feels WITH you and not just for you.

9. The Hype-Girl Friend.

I love this friend. She hypes you up. When you're feeling down she reminds you of how wonderful you are. She gets upset when you don't see it. "Don't you dare think you're worthless!" Whether it is preparing for an interview, preparing for a speech, or simply tackling a grocery trip with 3 kids she will make you PUMPED for it. She reminds you how stunning you look, how intelligent you are, and overall fantastic.

10. The Timeless Friend. 

You don't talk to this friend daily, monthly or maybe even yearly. But when you do? No time has passed. You don't guilt each other for the time that has passed. You both understand that life gets busy and that doesn't diminish the value of your friendship. When you're in town, she meets up with you. When you call randomly, you can talk for hours effortlessly. She's got your back. No. Matter. What.

10 Things I Learned in my Twenties

I have been a 30 year old for a week now. After reflecting on my twenties, here are 10 things I've learned. Maybe these apply to you, too!

1. How to be a mother.

I got pregnant at 20 and gave birth at 21. I literally started my twenties as a parent. During the last 10 years I learned many lessons on how to be a mother. I am still learning, but I thank the gods every day that I had Ellie and became her mother. She was it for me. My Mona Lisa.

2. How to make the most from my mistakes.

I made many, and will make many more. I'm not perfect but I've fought for the strength I have right now. I learned that there are definitely right and wrong ways of fixing mistakes you've made. I've learned to choose my words wisely and to know what battles to fight.

3. I learned it's okay to be alone.

I mean this both physically alone and emotionally alone. I moved to Washington shortly after Elizabeth was born. It was one of the most difficult times of my twenties. I was in a dead end relationship trying so hard to pretend it was okay. It wasn't. It was the first time I had been away from my family, I had a newborn baby and in a home with no love. It was heartbreaking. But through that heartbreak I found the strength to be alone, and when it was time to break it off I was ready. Suddenly I was a single mother, the father figure had disappeared and that was it. I had no one to fall back on. It was scary. It was thrilling. I rose from those ashes and became amazing. I wouldn't have don't all that if I wasn't alone.

4. Drinking is sometimes fun.

I had my drinking days. Probably drinking too much. But it was fun sometimes. And other times, not so much. I learned how to balance it out and that I don't have to be drinking or drunk to have fun with family and friends. Those nights were filled with so many memories and I will look back on the fondly. But I know my thirties will not be filled with many drunk nights; I'm getting too old for that. ;)

5. Sex isn't a bad thing.

Yikes, that escalated right? So often women feel like we will be shunned if we find pleasure in the same physical desires that men do. I learned that there is a double standard when it comes to sex. I have been around the block- I'm not ashamed to say that- because I don't think it is a bad thing to enjoy sex. So, if you're young, single and want to explore you should be allowed to! Be safe, be smart, but girl, don't allow people to tell you that sex is bad.

6. Honesty really is the best thing.

Be honest, guys. Not just with others but yourself, too. It's a pretty simple concept but I look back and am SO glad I was honest because I've seen first hand what happens when a person continuously lies. It's no bueno.

7. My mom is usually right.

I can't say always because I'm sure she has had a moment or two where she was wrong, albeit I can't think of a single instance at the moment. She is my cheerleader, my rock, my best friend. And she is usually right.

8. Pay your bills first.

Okay. I sucked at this. I'll be honest. But I have definitely learned that I needed to and should have done this from the get go. I will spend my entire thirties repairing the credit damage I did as an early twenty something year old.

9. I don't need my husband.

I learned that I don't actually NEED my husband. Everything he does for me I can do (and have done) for myself. This is the thing, I like having him around. As much as he pisses me off sometimes, I want him. With him being in the Marine Corps, I'm actually glad I don't "need" him. He leaves often, sometimes for a long time, and I do just fine. I miss him and am glad when he's home safely. But I am so proud of myself for being able to thrive in any environment.

10. I will never make everyone happy.

This is HARD for me. But I learned I will never please everyone all the time. What I do will not always be everyone's cup of tea but I'm okay with that now. I was always a people pleaser, but I learned the importance of making myself happy. It's pretty freaking awesome.

There it is. 10 things. I know there are more lessons, but those stuck out the most and molded me into the amazing woman I am today.

What are some things you learned in the last 10 years? Share below!

Be a fountain; not a drain.

This topic has been weighing on my mind and heart for weeks now. Not everyone will agree and some might even be offended by what I'm about to say. But, oh the joys of having your own blog.

Let me start by saying this. You are enough. You. Are. Enough. Yes, I'm going to say it again before I'm done.

Many of my fellow moms have been feeling beat down lately and I have come to a conclusion as to why. We never feel like we are enough. We feel like we could be doing more. 

I'm sure we all have our own reasons as to why we feel that way. But I am willing to guess that the feeling is self inflicted. I know it is for me.

Nothing my husband does makes me feel worthless. Lord knows my kids worship the ground I walk on. My family and friends are supportive. So why the hell do I not feel like I'm ever doing enough?

I have learned that my sacrifices (no matter how many or how few) do not define me as a mother. Let me say it louder for the ladies in the back. Your sacrifices do not define you as a mother. What I mean by this is you do not magically become a better mother if you sacrifice more. If you give every last ounce to your kids, that doesn't mean you're a better mother than if you save a few ounces for yourself.

What does define you as a mother isn't what you give up but rather what you give out. This includes WHO you are giving to your children. 

There is something so powerful when you begin to love yourself more than you love anyone else, kids included. Let me explain why.

When you love yourself the most, you take care of yourself which means you're in a better state to give your family the best you. Consider it a trickle down effect. Fill your fountain from the top. Stop forgetting yourself and pouring from the middle.

I am worth a great life. I do not need to sacrifice every bit of me and my identity in order to be a great mother. By loving myself more than anyone else makes me a better mother, wife and person. SELF LOVE is the key.

I had to stop being a motherhood martyr. I had to stop sacrificing every part of me thinking "oh, everyone will see everything I give up and know I'm  great mother."

Sacrificing a full nights sleep, sacrificing your financial "wants" in order to provide all your child(ren)'s needs, and other sacrifices like those are part of this whole motherhood gig. But let me tell you what isn't part of it:

Sacrificing your dreams. Sacrificing your sanity. Sacrificing every second of your day.

Remind yourself that you are enough. Save some ounces of yourself for just you. Fill your freakin' fountain from the top. 

Getting Lost.

My youngest is turning two Monday. My last and final kid. He is my last first step. Last first word. Last first everything.

All things about that is both satisfying and saddening.

With the end of my "baby era" begins a new era for me. My thirties. The decade I'd like to affectionately dedicate to myself.

Next month in October I will be turning 30 and I can't wait. I feel like a new season is about to begin. I have joked around and told people that I will be too old to make the same stupid (really stupid) mistakes I made as a twenty something year old.

You know, that Sarah who was suddenly a mother trying to sort out some pretty hefty life lessons. Or the Sarah who is 22 and trying to still "be young" while changing diapers. No, that Sarah is long gone (thank goodness). Right, I'm too old for that. But I am still young enough to accomplish so many things. I can still start a career. I can finish school. I can work on making it back to ME again.

See, I lost myself somewhere between midnight feedings and afternoon coffees. Somewhere in between being on my husband's arm and playing a dual role when he's gone- I vanished.

For the majority of ny adult life I was simply his wife or their mother.

Woah.

I lost who I am as an individual. I sought (and often time still seek) validation through my husband. I venture off in my children's lives hoping to find me again. But I will never find Sarah, the woman, in their lives. I need to find her in my own time and in my own world.

I may not find her tomorrow or even in the next year. But when I do, it will be like greeting an old friend.  I will be a new person with the same face,  and I will embrace her tightly.  Life changes just like the seasons, and I'm ready for the next one.

Sight Word Fish: Helping My 3 Year Old Read

Hi, Friends! I posted a video of Skarlet reading some sight words and got a handful of comments from you all that you'd like the full document! I'd be happy to share. I began using this when I homeschooled Elizabeth full time. She was four years old and reading like a champ! I attribute some of this success to these fish.

I incorporate these sight words into our weekly curriculum. I have my kiddo color them any way she wants, then I laminate and put together onto a metal ring. We color one page a week (4 fish per page) and read them every day. This will help the child memorize the letter formation and words. But as you can see when I have Elizabeth read some random words- it leads to reading!

Here is Elizabeth reading from her fish book. She was 4 years old :)

Here is where you can get the document!

Sight Word Fish

Road Trip Prepping: How I travel Alone with 3 Kids

We are finally back home from our road tripping adventures! As many of you already know, due to KP's work schedule, I travel alone with the three kiddos often. And I do so fearlessly. These kids seem to be bred for it! 

I wanted to share a few tips and tricks that I use to make the trip nice and smooth. 

First, FOOD! I mean, what would a road trip be without it? We pack bag of dry food as well as a cooler of cold food and drinks. (Striped bag is our beach bag already packed with bathing suits, extra clothes etc.)

I bought our blue, insulated bag from Costco. It is perfect! The zipper opens up wide so you can see everything at once. 

We use a "cup system" for loose snacks like the kid's favorite "Pirates Booty". Soft items like granola bars and crackers are placed in tupperware to keep them from getting smooshed. It also makes it easy for quick finding! 

We use this Pampered Chef tool to make our own "Uncrustables". Saves money, no big messes and fits perfectly in this tupperware! 

My kids love these custom lunchables ;) They find them so delicious! 

That's the food. Onward to activities! 

I created a Wanderlust Jr. travel journal for my oldest (8) and she loved it! Along with this printable I created I also printed up crossword puzzles, travel BINGO and other fun printables I knew she'd love. I also add a few sheets of card protector sheets with ziplock bags for her to add tiny keepsakes in! 

 

Both of the girls' binders, food trays, games and other toys were added into my Dollar Tree basket and placed between their car seats! 

 The trip went so well and the kids were all happy! I couldn't have asked for them to be better behaved!

Playing Hookie

It has been rainy here in Alabama lately. Gloomy mornings, drizzling afternoons. But, despite the overcast, I had some errands to run so I packed the kids up and we bravely set out to accomplish our tasks. Elizabeth got to play hookie from school and she couldn't have been happier.

First stop, cake pops!

We went inside of Starbucks to enjoy our treats. Which is particularly special because we rarely go inside anywhere if they have a drive thru (shout out to all the other moms who know the struggle). However, today I felt encouraged to share moments with my kiddos outside of the van.

The kids behaved so well. I sat back, drank my water and soaked in the blissful experience.

Some days it's hard with them. There are times I take them all and leave on the verge of frustrated tears because they're all over the place. It makes days like this all the more amazing.

We accomplished all of our goals. No tears were had. All smiles from the kiddos and I was one peaceful mama.

Not too shabby.

Let's Get Lost

Hello again.

It's been awhile, I know. 

Can I just tell you something? I grew up being a daydreamer. I saw stories in the clouds, heard songs in the wind. I would spend hours outside, sitting in a tree and just taking it all in. Somewhere along the way my inner child became quieter, almost mute. But then I heard something. I heard the knocking, that little voice demanding I listen. 

"Let's get lost".

Why are so many of us afraid to listen to that little voice and just. let. go? Why are we too shy to dance in a crowd? Or sing at the top of our lungs? At the beginning of this year I made a resolution to be selfish and to take care of myself. That isn't just physically and mentally. But also spiritually. I'm sticking to that and will be enjoying this summer with the kids to the fullest. 

We will be traveling, near and far. We will laugh loudly. We will sing together and move to the beat. I will teach my children to embrace it all and listen to that little voice inside. 

I will be sharing our adventures with you. Let's get lost together, shall we?