My First Year of Marriage

So today was the day! One year down. And like all marriages, I learned a lot. Now, before I share just a few things I feel like I need to add a disclaimer for all those people who might read this and say "well MY marriage is like this" or "Marriage shouldn't be like that". This is what I, personally, have learned from MY marriage. All marriages are different, so no jumping down my throat. Deal? Deal!


Well, lets begin!


Marriage is not what you expected it to be. 
I pride myself on being realistic yet optimistic. But this is definitely one that mommy & daddy hit on the head (go figure, right?). So all those newly engaged couples that are scoffing at their parents for stating the truth of marriage and it's difficulties, you may want to reevaluate. I moved in with my husband for the first time ever nearly 9 months after being married and boy was it a big ole slap in the yapper. I remember my dad telling me "Sarah, it's going to be hard for that tough Marine to not treat Baby Girl (aka Ellie Bug) like one of his guys" and I just brushed it off. Now a few months later and I have realized there is truth to that. Kristopher does an amazing job filling in his daddy role now that he's home, but it's still a journey. Like with any parent. Sometimes he forgets that she's a 3 year old girl not an 18 year old lance coolie. Don't know what I mean? Marry a Marine (lol).  I've already had 3 years of practice, I keep forgetting he doesn't.


Learn to pick your battles, pick your allies and pick your battles..did I already say that?
This one I learned before getting married but marriage kicked it in high gear and really taught me that some things just aren't worth fighting over. So whenever I come into our bedroom see cammies lying on the floor when there is a perfectly fine laundry basket available I just smile and be grateful that dirty cammies are even there. My husband is home, safe & sound. Now the pick your allies, this is important. What do I mean by that? Well I mean whenever you DO decide that something is worth arguing (because picking battles doesn't mean to be a door mat) be sure to choose your words (aka allies) wisely. One bad word or incorrect tone just might send things spiraling down. My biggest problem was being a smart ass. My husband HATES that. So I have learned that the small "satisfaction" of being a smart ass during an argument was not worth drawing out or worsening the dilemma. So I stick to my grounds and just be a grown up about it.


Ladies, this one is for you. Learn to shut your mouth.
Harsh, right? Sorry but it's the only way I can explain it. I have had a particular hard time with this but I have learned that sometimes (usually) less is more. So when I ask "what's wrong? how was work? Whatcha thinking? Why aren't you answering me? Are you ignoring me? Umm...how was work?" etc. etc. it is going to get me nowhere fast. I used to be in my husband's bubble right when he got home because I was craving adult interaction from being home with a 3 year old all day. It didn't help. Now? I give a kiss, ask how work was and take whatever response he gives me. With this lesson, I have also learned that he will eventually come to me and tell me what's on his mind. Best lesson.


All of those "I will never dos" you said before marriage just might change after marriage.
My husband and I always said "I will never go to bed angry" and well...you know where this is going. Sometimes it's unavoidable. Now that "I will never do" has changed to an "I will always". Instead of saying "I will never go to bed angry" it has become "I will always go to bed with you, no matter what". Every single night (minus field and duty nights) my husband and I go to bed together. It never fails. I absolutely love this. Sometimes I'm not tired, but he is and we still go upstairs together. And vice versa. Angry? It doesn't matter, we share our bed as husband and wife and wouldn't have it any other way. This is something I can always count on and it makes me feel so incredibly loved. Secretly, I know he loves it too. ;)


I am my mom. My mom is super woman.
I am becoming my mom. Looking at how I grew up and how my mom was just makes me think of super woman. I will always look up to her. Never shed a tear in front of us, was ALWAYS there, made sure our home was clean (damn clean!) and so much more. My mom is super woman. I am proud to say that I have learned that I am more and more like her every day. For that, I am blessed.


I love my husband.
While Kris was deployed and while we were bf/gf I loved him. And in a way, this movie type love. We had such romantic times. I re-read letters and look back on gifts and just swoon each time. But during our first year of marriage, I have really learned to love him on a whole new level. This is the man I will be with for the rest of my life. There is something so profound about that. The rest. of. my. life. Woah. He is this secretly romantic man. I will never forget our first kiss, it just wraps him up in one story. He sat me down and told me to close my eyes. I did. He said to think of all the times he pissed me off, and all of the situations he might do to piss me off. After asking "you thinking of it?" he kissed me. I asked him why he did that and his response? Because every time I am mad at him I will always think of our first kiss. And after all this time, it still works. I sure love my husband.


Well, now that I'm all warm and fuzzy inside I should end this. Just a perfect note to finish off my anniversary. I look forward to learning more about myself and marriage with all the years to come. And well, if all else fails I will learn how great it was to get a pre-nup. ;) Just kidding.

Yes, he was grabbing some boobie.